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If Microsoft Built Cars

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by beansbaxter, Jun 27, 2005.

  1. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
    computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up
    with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
    twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating: if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
    driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they painted the lines on the road you would have to buy a
    new car.

    3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
    your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have
    to re-install the engine.

    4. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
    five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five
    percent of the roads.

    5. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

    6. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
    refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
    turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    7. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
    McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need
    them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately
    cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover,
    GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.

    8. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn
    how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in
    the same manner as the old car.

    9. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine
  2. hahaha thats awesome...i love #6

  3. Skwrl

    Skwrl Ninja Master

    haha, I remember reading this on another forum.

    Resurected thread.

    Here is another chance for a thread that never made it.
  4. Wow this is old, but still true.
  5. Dr. E

    Dr. E Theoretical Propagandist

    Now we do press the start button to shut off cars!
  6. Gusgus

    Gusgus Thaumaturgist

    There would also be 50 extra knobs which could do something if you remit $24.99 each, then and only then, can you can find out what they actually do. Before you find they are stupid!
  7. Oh, and lest we forget:

    When you step on the brake to stop quickly, a prompt appears on the dash screen: "Are you sure you want to stop?" Then you click "OK" or "Cancel."
  8. it doesn't take microsoft for gm to be a target of the federal gob'mint!

    speaking of this, since I now own part of GM, WHERE'S MY FREE TRUCK?
  9. Gusgus

    Gusgus Thaumaturgist

    There's a 1973 Chevette sitting down by the dock, it all yours!

  10. dood, I'd rock the crap out of a 'vette!

    My dad had 2 when my brother and I were little, a white one and a blue one. The blue one ran better, but the white one ran better...until the engine swap...(maybe it was a tranny? maybe both? hell, I don't know) dad sold it for $300 and that was the most cash money I'd ever seen all together in my whole life, I thought it was a great deal on our part.

    we drove the white one for a long time after that.

  11. Gusgus

    Gusgus Thaumaturgist

    The one at the dock has been driven in all 57 states!
  12. I guess Toyota didn't pay attention to this thread.
    Skwrl likes this.
  13. KevinD

    KevinD Modulator Staff Member

    Chevettes FTW! crackup:

    My wife learned to drive a stick in one.
    After that, I had to freshen-up the flywheel with a wire brush, and it was as good as new!

  14. Skwrl

    Skwrl Ninja Master

    you know whats scary? the microsoft software integration to the new gm
  15. microsoft sync technology in Ford is why I am done with Ford.
  16. You were on forums when you were 13?:scratchea
  17. i vote that we change skwrl's little sub-handle from wmrra quailifier to "PNWR archaeologist".....cause this is one of many old threads he has dug up:evil4:
  18. Skwrl

    Skwrl Ninja Master

    no joke ive been on forums since i was 11, including proboards support, I lied that I was 13 for a few years. Then they found out and I got banned, but I still had a few active forums I created.

    Later I rejoined legally and have been an active poster for ever.
  19. Skwrl

    Skwrl Ninja Master