Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

What do women riders think of male motorcyclists?

Discussion in 'Motorcycle Talk' started by SamIam, Jun 23, 2005.

  1. I found a artical about what women really think about guys on bikes while bouncing around the internet today and thought I should share ( What can I say, I like the conclusions :mrgreen: )

    Here's a pic of the author....DAMN~!

  2. Here it is...

    Everyone from feminist scholars to third-rate rock stars has identified motorcycles as potent metaphors for sex. The speed, the danger, the leather clothing, the excitement of a good ride are all very similar to the sensations most of us associate with great sex. And who would argue that a Ducati 998 isn’t every bit as gorgeous as a naked woman, or that the rush of going knee down or carrying a sick second-gear wheelie isn’t orgasmic? Motorcycles are damn sexy. So guys, it goes without saying that the motorcycle you ride makes a powerful statement about your sexual prowess. Quit snickering–you’d be surprised at how much a savvy woman who rides (and what savvy woman doesn’t?) can tell about your skills between the sheets by just a quick glance at your bike. For instance, intelligent women know that ratty stunt-bike riders make the best lovers. Their, um, “services” are in such high demand that they’re barely able to find time to lube the chain, much less hand-rub 30 coats of clear lacquer. Keeping this in mind, it might be helpful to consider the particular statement your own scooter makes about your sexuality.

    I’ll start with those cruiser guys, because aside from a red Corvette and a pneumatic, 19-year-old “personal assistant,” nothing screams midlife crisis quite like a chopper. Start with the pipes–even a nun knows a rider’s package measurements are inversely proportional to the length and girth of his exhaust pipes. Other accessories can betray as well. See mudflaps tacked onto the fenders? He irons his socks and wears them to bed, too. Naked-lady murals on the tank? Never seen a real pair of breasts in his life. And ladies, watch out for Harleys with sky-scraping sissy bars out back. His favorite bedroom accessory straps around your waist.

    You sportbike guys are almost as bad. A Gixxer with a neon-lime windscreen and polished wheels screams, “I’ll pick you up for our first date in a jacked-up Cutlass with a silly sticker of a cartoon character pissing in the back window, and we’re going to Red Lobster.” Race leathers worn on the street are another red flag, especially those pasted with phony sponsor decals. You still buy Underoos from the little boy’s department and play Dungeons & Dragons. Online. Other sportbike warning signs: fender eliminator? Castration anxiety, and he’s only gonna get off if there are garden shears in the bed. Stealth turn signals? Subscriber to Close Shave. Rollin’ on 190-series rear tires? See “exhaust pipes” above. And pity the poor fool rockin’ a Ducati 9xx with a tank bra and a color-matched seat cover–his bike just screams cross-dresser with a possible secret diaper fetish.

    Sport-tourers are definitely the worst, though. VFR/ST4/Sprint ST riders are perpetual adolescents–they play like they’re down with the mortgage and 2.5 kids, but every other Saturday they’re slurping tequila from the navel of some girl named Mindy and conducting field research on the “Mutation and Proliferation of Common STDs.” And nothing says poseur like an adventure tourer. He’s a wannabe rugged individualist who spends all night downloading maps of exotic destinations he’ll never see. Speaking of that GPS clamped to the handlebar–gadget fetish, and definite robot-sex fantasies.

    No matter what sort of bike you ride, it broadcasts a crystal-clear message about your sexual peccadilloes. Naked bike? Exhibitionist and nude-beach freak with more hair on his back than his head. Dual-sport riders like to get freaky outdoors, not to mention that they’re not very good about washing “down there.” If you ride a V-Max you’re an S&M enthusiast with a flogger made from spark-plug leads. If you ride a Warrior (or other “performance cruiser") you’ve got the same S&M inclinations, only you repress these by coaching Little League on the weekends. I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

    So where, exactly, does all this leave a worldly woman rider wishing for a motorcyclist with just the right mix of studliness and sensitivity to sexually satisfy her for all eternity? In my experience, wheelying off into the sunset, solo, astride an SV650. (Which, by the way, boys, is definitely not a girl’s bike!) Most of you biker boyz are too busy standing around the parking lot at some Hooters bike night comparing one another’s “camshafts” to even notice a classy babe like me.

    On the money and some fine writing. Got to admire her choice of bike, and therefore man, but I wonder if she’s a bit “cc shy,” choosing a putter like an SV650 as a mount for her perfect guy, when the SV1000 its big brother crouches like a jaguar and handles like Nureyev.

  3. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
  4. its a good thing my wind screen on my gixxer is clear!!!!
  5. appears to be talking out of her ass....all the comparasons and broad generolizations, then when it's all said and done she rides an SV650?!?!? Ummm I'm sorry all credibility has just blown out her tailpipe... To me a wide rear tire on a sportbike says, "I like using this bike for it's intended purpose CORNERS..." I would like to write her an editorial...something to the effect of the wise cartmen, "Woman shut your mouth. You get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen and make me a pie!"
  6. i love stunting!!!!
  7. Lucky

    Lucky The $75,000 Rider

    I miss my underoos.

  8. crackup: :lol:

    Funny but unless I want to wake up missing essential parts, I'll pass on a date with the B!+@# !! :shock:
  9. Lucky

    Lucky The $75,000 Rider

    Agreed, she's not worth the time it takes to unwrap a condom.
  10. KCander

    KCander El Duderino "Old Timer"

    Oh, I'm sure she knows what she's talking about...this is because, posing half-naked in front of a crotchrocket, she fits the perfect profile for sportbike groupie slut.

    Aren't stereotypes fun?!?!?!?!!!
  11. :mrgreen: Got to get me one of those!
  12. KCander

    KCander El Duderino "Old Timer"

    I didn't say it was a bad thing...
  13. G-Spot

    G-Spot Pint Size Pimpin'

    So since I actually do ride (and for the most part quite well if I do say so myself) and I pose in front of a bike like that....does that make me a groupie or just a slut? lol
    :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?:
  14. jezterr

    jezterr Retired Admin

    depends on what you have to say about me wearing leathers on the street and my fake sponsor stickers...
  15. Perferd

    Perferd Grade A Champion

    ^LOL I wear levi jeans and nike shoes with thier symbol on them but they dont sponor me so is that bad?
  16. KCander

    KCander El Duderino "Old Timer"

  17. Lucky

    Lucky The $75,000 Rider

  18. YES This poor fat white kid has a chance at some ladies!!

    Edit:: Yeah I know I have no REAL chance but let me just have this one dream!
  19. Ok, so from a girl... here we go.

    I will get my ass back in the kitchen and bake you a pie if that's what you want, and I will please the man that I am with, but I will not fall for someone over a bike. So it's great that you have things in common, but c'mon!!!

    So bikes turn me on - that's one of my reasons why I ride... But what does this chick think of guys who ride??? Hmmm... I can ride better than some of these cocky bastards, and wow - the ones who show off for chicks... gross. If you take me out on a date, and we talk about bikes, and I find out you have one, that's hot. If you ride past me doing a wheelie - I think what a desperate and dumb ass hole... ewww, grow some balls and maturity while you're at it.

    Given, yes, we all know that motorcycles just do something for you. That's why we love it so much. But if you are dumb about it, and cocky about it, it's just not that hot, and all you are going to get, is a not-so-attractive-thong-showing-skinny-crack-whore-bike-slut like the one posing with the bike. She can't bake you a pie, she doesn't know what any type of pie besides the piece of ass she can offer you is.

    Be smart, be responsible, have fun, but don't be stupid, and the girls will come, the wholesome-sexy-worth-your-time-still-a-good-fuck-females. And she wil actually have an interest in your riding capabilites/skills, and not just the fact that you can afford a bike.

    Oh and please, no more of this putting your "girl you love" on the back of your bike without addequate gear, and riding around like an indestructable ass hole! If you love her enough to take her with you, show it and put her in some gear. I don't want to scrape the both of you off the road.
  20. She looks awfully 'high maintenance' to me. I can't see her doing much of anything, other than standing around trying to look, what she thinks is, pretty, after sitting in front of a mirror for an hour or so. I wonder what she'll look like in 10 years, or so. Surgery City, I bet. Just like some cars and some bikes . . .TOO MUCH PLASTIC, too much bondo, too much tuck and roll. Too much Silicon. IF ya know what I mean