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You might be a racer if...

Discussion in 'Motorcycle Talk' started by beansbaxter, Oct 13, 2004.

  1. You might be a racer if . . .

    ...you know how to properly pronounce "Criville"
    ...you walk proper lines through the grocery store with the cart.
    ...you've ever had to explain the term "pucker factor".
    ...you've paid $5.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
    ...your idea of a decent sort of house to buy is one with a basement and a big garage, a downhill driveway so you can bump-start your racebike, and a working toilet on the property somewhere.
    ...you bought a race bike before buying a house.
    ...you bought a race bike before buying furniture for the new house.
    ...you're looking for a bike transport vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
    ...you hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead of "Denny's".
    ...you sit on your race bike in the garage and make bike noises and shift and practice your throttle blipping/braking, while waiting for your motor to get back from the shop.
    ...you look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
    ...at least one of your children was conceived at a race track.
    ...your garage has more bikes than your house has bedrooms.
    ...you have enough spare parts to build another bike
    ...you have bike parts in your cubicle at work
    ...you registered for wedding gifts at Marietta Motorsports
    ...after your answer to "How was your weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
    ...you've ported your 2-stroke lawn mower, chain saw, or weed eater
    ...your reading material in your bathroom consists of a 1-888-FASTLAP catalog, and 400 bike magazines, none of which have centerfolds.
    ...some people only know you by your racing class & bike number
    ...your first date involves asking her to crew for you.
    ...you plan your wedding around the race schedule.
    ...you complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
    ...you tell a friend you need to clean up the head this weekend and they think you mean the toilet.
    ...you gladly pay $9 for a bottle of engine oil.
    ...you hate long distance driving, but gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.
    ...you save broken bike parts as "momentos".
    ...you've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas
    ...you've got 3 immaculate race bikes always race ready, but your wife has to nag you for 2 months before you fix the headlight in her car.
     
  2. Guff

    Guff Forum Admin Staff Member

    Did you say $5 for gas.... GAS... isn't it fuel??? :lol:

    ... might be if you ride with the speed racer theme song playing.

    -Guff
     

  3. this still makes me laugh...
     
  4. You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars (seats).

    You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous best time.
    You change engine oil every week.

    You sometimes hear little noises and get panic squeezed from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.

    You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires that could have been purchased.

    Your garage has double the square feet of your home.

    Your Christmas list begins with another set of 003’s and Carrillo rods (and your 'significant other' knows what these are).

    You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.

    Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and leathers.

    Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.

    You look at the fire hydrant at that corner and see an apex marker.

    You know someone who goes by the handle Late Apex lol.

    You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.

    Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.

    You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.

    Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips.

    White smoke coming out from under your tires is a common sight.

    You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.

    Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for given situations.

    When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "Twist of the Wrist"
    When someone asks where you went to school, you reply, "Pridmore’s and Code".

    You have racing shops programmed on your speed dialer.

    You own eight bikes and only one of them is street legal.

    You know the 1/4 mile times and skid pad numbers of your riding mower and want to improve them.

    You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.

    You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.

    You regularly live test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.

    You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.

    You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview afterwards.

    After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your vacation she answers: "Why... is there a race there?"

    And last but not least…tell her you bought the wrecked MotoGP bike at a yard sale… really cheap!!
     
  5. RVFR

    RVFR Pilot in Command

    Great read, though some of it is so true crackup: